Grand Theft Uh-Oh!

During my time in NYC, I had the pleasure of getting to know Robert W. Richards, a talented illustrator whose work is nothing if not provocative. I was surprised to learn that he'd done some of the original art for the Grand Theft Auto posters and packaging -- worlds away from the lusty-eyed twinks and scruffy man-meat seen in his (NSFW) book, Allure.

I was thinking of Robert when I saw this week's crime report. The item had to do with an apparent marketing kit for the latest Grand Theft title gone way wrong. I couldn't resist cranking out a parody cover of the newest game, but I knew better than to try and mimic the realistic style that's become the GTA trademark. (Robert no longer does the game art, but it retains plenty of his sensibilities.) The result is above, and it made me smile.

The Blotter item:

SEEING BLOODY RED: At Chastain Square Shopping Center on Roswell Road, a 29-year-old woman said she went to the Dumpster to throw away some cardboard and discovered a box on the ground filled with bloody clothes. So she called police. An officer arrived to investigate. “As I approached the box, I noticed what appeared to be bloody clothing inside,” the officer wrote. Then, he looked closer. “The suspected blood appeared to be some type of red syrup. It also had a sweet smell to it. … To make sure that the substance was not blood, I [got] an ID unit to come out and take pictures of the scene before I started removing contents of the box.” After photos, the officer fully opened the box. “Inside the box was a plastic fake head, pants, a white shirt, and rubber flies and worms. It appeared that someone may have used the items to advertise a game of some sort. The reason for this assumption is because I also found a Chinese to-go box with a bloody fake hand inside. On the box, it advertised a game called ‘Grand Theft Auto in China.’ The game is believed to be full of blood and gore from the display on the box.” The officer discarded the fake bloody contents and filed a police report.