dating darwinism
My most recent column for Genre is now online:Dating Darwinism: The very gay way of “Survival of the Selfish”
I never know when these things post until I notice a spate of referrals here from the magazine’s site. I also usually get a couple of letters. Good stuff. I’m always glad to hear from readers, even if they disagree with my column.
6 Comments:
great article. nicely written, too.
"survival of the selfish" this is a true statement and I think that in some point in our lives we have done this. I think that we are all guilty of this and the whole mixed messages now I get that a lot I don't understand it but I do get it a lot and it's hard to understand and hard to see what someone else is thinking or feeling about anything.
I've follwed your articles in CL for years. You write well but Genre is a lousy vehicle to show it...it's just more of the same vapid portrayal of gays as souless, superficial boy-men who have the same emotional makeup as 13 year old girls (Tigerbeat much?)I subscribed for some stupid reason but it now goes in the trash with the missing children flyers. Ever any chance of reading about gays that have grown up and fostered successful long term relationships? We are out there. If anyone could make it interesting it would probably be you...but get away from Genre...you can do much better.
"Boy-men who have the same emotional makeup as 13-year-old girls" are the majority I'm finding (particularly the piece-of-shit I just broke up with), and it's a very "survival of the selfish" culture that I find in my day-to-day life.
Tray's merely reflecting upon a facet of the culture that's out there, not creating that culture. And, as a writer, that's what you hope to do. (Art reflects life, not the other way around.)
Thus, the conclusions of the column struck me as sad but true.
Of course, I'm just coming to that decision from my own experience. If Levi didn't find the piece as telling, maybe it's because he's had a different, arguably better experience. (I'd like to see what's in the water wherever he's living.)
as i often have said, "as gay, men we have a stunted mental growth." Because we have never endured the love-hate break-ups with other guys during adolescence, we spend a great deal of time in our 20's, 30's and sometimes beyond disastrously seeking a permanent connection.
Unfortunately, because of our dysfunctional and disabled development as emotional gays, our relationships exemplify and demonstrate this under-development. So, your article rings true for many of us, but i think it is MORE than "survival of the selfish;" i believe it is the strugglings of the survivors: We who survived adolescence and young adulthood struggle in the here-and-now, hoping for LOVE.
I am only to blessed to have found my LOVE 9 years ago.
thanks for writing our stories. i'll pass it on to our tribe.
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